This weekend we celebrate Father’s Day, a day we remember our fathers, living and deceased. Like the role of mothers, the role of fathers has changed in recent years. Fathers today are more likely than in the past to share in some of the domestic tasks that were traditionally assigned to mothers, and it is no longer unusual for father to stay at home and watch the children. The expectations placed on fathers, however, can be overwhelming. A father must be both confidant and disciplinarian. He must be present to his children, but he often finds himself travelling because of the demands of the modern day work place. The fact is there is no simple way to describe the role of a father in contemporary American life. And so, fathers tend to learn what it means to be a father by being a father. While I have not special knowledge of what it means to be a father, allow me to highlight three qualities of a good father.
A good father listens to his children. One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to listen to them. If he hopes to communicate with them when they are older, he must listen to them when they are young. A father who patiently listens gives his children the confidence to confide later in him in times of trouble and crisis. Such a father affords his children the opportunity they need to express themselves to someone they can trust. A father who listens when his children are young has a far better chance of communicating with them when they are teens. Conversely, if a father does not listen to his children now, there will be little motivation for his children to come to him for guidance later.
A good father grows in wisdom. Wisdom comes from a lifetime of experience. It is not just book knowledge; it is knowledge born of experience over a long period of time. Fathers who are wise understand the goal and purpose of life; they have a sense of the whole of life, not just a part of it. Fathers who are young need to grow into wisdom, and this takes time. It comes from learning from the wisdom of others as well as from personal experience. It comes from learning from the wisdom of the ages, the wisdom of the Gospel, the wisdom of Catholicism.
A good father leads by example. What a father does is more important than what he says. A father who tells his children how to act but does do what he says cannot guide his children in the way of wisdom. But a father who acts in accord with what he teaches and believes will provide his children with the life lessons they need to learn. There may be times when his children reject what he says and does. His children may rebel and refuse to follow his example. There will come a time, however, when they will remember what their father did as well as what he said. On that day, it will be the example of their father more than anything else that will lead and guide them.
I congratulate all of you who are fathers. Yours is an exalted vocation—it is the way you attain sanctify. Be a good father and good husband and you will numbered among God’s saints. Listen so that you can give your children wise counsel. Do what you tell them to do, and they will follow your example. Be a good father and you will make the most important contribution you can to church and society. Congratulations on your day! Father Matera